Ohio Bureau of Motor Vehicles

Today I went to the Ohio Bureau of Motor Vehicles (BMV) to transfer the title on my car to Ohio. Since a typical visit to the DMV never goes as I plan, I always try to prepare well ahead of my visit for any unforeseen BULLSHIT. It turns out that even the best preparation cannot stop the tidal wave of incompetence found at the DMV.

It started with our California title having "Victor Thompson OR Rachel Balabuszko" as the owners of our car, and it ended with me breaking down the entire hierarchy of the DMV and changing the way the DMV operates in Columbus (or at least at the main branch). In Ohio they do not recognize the word "OR" and treat all instances of "ORs" as "ANDs", which to me makes absolutely no sense given an OR is an OR and an AND is an AND. Who woulda thunk it? Nevertheless, I was prepared and called ahed to make sure I did not need Rachel present to transfer the title since my current title (CA title) says OR. Since I had already figured out that every little task at the Ohio BMV is compartmentalized under different branches of the BMV I checked with the "Title Division" of the BMV over the phone if Rachel needed to be present. Their answer, "Yes, if it says OR in California, of course."

So, checkbook in hand I head down to the BMV as soon as I drop Justice off at the bus stop. I wait in line, get my out of state car inspection (which means they look at the odometer and VIN), wait 20 minutes in another line to pay the $3.50 "out of state inspection" charge, and get to the point where I am about to present my case to the "Title" people that I should be allowed to have an Ohio title for my car.

The first thing the lady says is that in Ohio all ORs are treated as ANDs and that there is no way my OR from California will work the same way in Ohio. Rather than arguing with the idiocy of such logic I politely told her that I had already called the Ohio Title office and they said that Ohio respects the previous state's guidelines. She of course, did not believe me and insisted that I had called the wrong office and talked to someone who didn't know what they were talking about. I replied rather astutely that I was under the assumption that everyone working at the DMV was a highly trained professional and very unlikely to give out the wrong information. Rather than agreeing with me and defending her fellow workers she insisted that I had either received bad information or was making it all up as some sort of clever ruse to illegally transfer my California title to Ohio.

At that point I insisted she contact her manager, to which she exclaimed "There are no managers here. The state of Ohio is my manager and the state of Ohio says 'ORs' are 'ANDs', and you need your wife to be present OR you need power of attorney for her." Jokingly, I said, "You said 'OR.' Don't you mean 'AND' I need power of attorney for her." At that point I listened to her speech about doing things the right way and left the line not knowing what had just happened.

Rather than leaving, I went to a chair to call the main Title office that had originally led me astray. Upon talking to them they immediately said that the person was wrong and that I should have her call them if she has any questions. Fine, no problem, I thought. I went back to the same window and told the BMV employee once again that I had just talked to the Title office and received the same information. They said she could call them to verify what I am saying. Once again she insisted that I had called the wrong person and AGAIN had the wrong information! Please help me!

I demanded she call the Title office at that point. Begrudgingly, she picks up her phone and calls her manager, NOT the Title office. Recall 20 minutes earlier there were NO managers at the office. Of course she TOTALLY misrepresents what is going on with my case to her manager and soon receives the go ahead form management to kick my ass out the door. I said "you forgot to mention that the title has OR written on it." At this point the people in the next windows are getting commentary from the person helping me and look at me like I am insane. As if I have nothing better to do than entertain these jerks at the BMV. ALL I WANT IS MY DAMN TITLE!

Finally, I say enough is enough and call the main Title office back. Fortunately, I keep getting the same person each time I call the Title office and she is beginning to get pissed that noone believes what I am saying. I gave her the name of the person helping me at the branch and she put me on hold. Meanwhile the lady behind the counter is convincing half the DMV that I am a terrorist. Then suddenly she gets a call. Her jaws drop. She looks at me as if she wants to kill me and then hesitantly hangs up the phone. Finally! She turns around and says, "Fine! We will do it!" I said, "WELL NO SHIT YOU WILL DO IT!!!" She said, "No, the person next to me will do it. I am going to lunch." Good Gawd!! Luckily, the wait for the next line was only a few seconds and I had by that time won the support of the other clerks so she was very nice and helpful.

In the end I have become somewhat of a hero at the BMV. This was the first time they had ever heard you could do this and it will for obvious reasons make their lives a lot easier in the future since they wont have to deal with power of attorney stuff and turning away people like me.

Bats

We have a friendly bat that visits us from time to time. Usually we catch it with a towel and throw it out the door, but a couple of nights ago we finally got tired of it and decided to get rid of it. No, we did not kill it, though I suggested that on a number of occasions. Instead we took it to the Ohio Wildlife Center where they have a whole room full of bats. The little rat with wings is very lucky Rachel and Justice were around to save his little hide or I would be wearing a set of bat skin earmuffs. I have to admit it was a little exciting having the thing fly by every once in a while. There is nothing like knowing you are in imminent danger of an air assault to keep you on your toes at night. Fortunately, for us, we kept our cool during these attacks and were able to quickly neutralize the threat. Below is a short video showing others how to keep your nerves under similar circumstances.



Note: Justice was hiding under the chair in the taping of this video and I was in Boston, far, far away.

I'm back

Motorcycle Justice

I have finally gotten back to the blog thing. I feel somewhat ashamed as the "bloggabilities" of many of my friends far surpass mine and no matter how hard I try I feel I may never become the blogexpert that these people are. This of course is reflected in todays post. I don't have a lot to put on here at the moment because i just realized that even though I am ready, my laptop is not! I need to download a bunch of pictures togive this blog the update is deserves. In the meantime I am including a couple of pictures of Justice on his motorcycle (not really his).

Winter is setting in and he will not be able to ride much longer so we got a few last pics of him in good weather really pushing the limits of man (5 year-old) and machine. More updates soon with more serious (yah right) posts and attention to important current events--like national elections and the universal health care.

RAIDERS FINALLY WIN

This is Ohio so I better not say it too loud, but RAIDERS WON. Who cares how they did it or what could have happened. The fact is, the Raiders have finally broken an 11 game losing streak. Now...who's next!

Columbus Zoo

Flavor Flav and the Columbus Zoo

I was going to get some work done on Saturday, but Justice suggested from the couch that it seemed like a good idea to head to the Columbus Zoo and Aquarium. So off we went. Turns out, the aquarium is pretty small, though I suppose once you have visited the Monterey Bay Aquarium enough times there isn't much that will compare to it, however, in the end it turned out to be a nice zoo. Overall, I think it is comparable to the San Francisco Zoo, though I think the Gorilla exhibit at San Francisco is much nicer. Even more exciting is that they ae building a giant water park next to the zoo for next Spring. I'm sure Justice will love that.

They did have an animal at the zoo that I have always wanted to see, (but forgot to get photos somewhow). The manatee! What a hideous looking animal! I have a feeling they may be pretty stupid too. They seem to just float around eating and getting their tails whacked off by motor boats. Much bigger and maybe a little more graceful than I initially thought they would be, but ugly nonetheless.

Anyways, Justice had fun at the zoo even though he didnt buy anything. And believe me, it is hard to avoid opportunities to buy CRAP at places like the zoo. Everything is placed at the eye level of a five-year-old so the second they see it they want it. Luckily, at the Columbus Zoo they had a booth setup where kids could make crafts. FOR FREE! Justice colored some slice of wood about the size of a pancake and hung it around his neck on a string. IT'S THE FLAVOR! Flav that is. And that was it for the zoo. I will be back to posting more now that I have begun to settle in here in Columbus. (As I look at all the unpacked boxes in the house I realize that is bit of a lie).

Mi Familia!

CSRE Farewell

It was hard to say good-bye to all the folks at CCSRE. I have been at Stanford for 7 years and never really felt like I had a home until I became a part of the CCSRE community which made this the hardest good-bye of the Summer. Indeed, it was so hard I stayed in town long after I moved out of my old house. Nevertheless, all good things must come to an end. The pictures here are from a lunch we had the last few days I was in town, and each and everyone of the people in these photos are the "heart" of CSRE. They give it life and make it the truly special place it is.

For 5 years I never cared much for Stanford, and there is still a part of me that doesn't quite "get it." I always felt a little out of place. However, my last two years in CSRE have given me something I will never feel out of place in--friendship and a group of people I sincerely feel I can call family. So in many ways I guess this isn't good-bye. I know that no matter where I end up I will always have my family at CSRE and they will always have my greatest respect. Three cheers for all the staff, faculty, and students of CSRE!

School buses and Ninjas

It is only a few weeks into Justice's first year of kindergarten and he has decided that riding a bus is a great way to get to Clinton Elementary. To me, it sounds like suicide for a 5-year-old with a pocket full of milk money (about 50 cents) to get on a bus, and I thought for certain he would change his mind once on board with all the strange, older kids. However, much to my surprise he ascended the small flight of stairs and plopped himself down in a seat, heeding his Mommy's advice to stay at the front and let the bus driver know if there were any problems. He has taken the bus ever since and loves it. I don't know how long he will continue riding the bus, and I am not sure what he does on it, but who cares. I suspect he probably just looks out the window reveling in his newfound freedom while watching the world go by his own little private window, absorbing the bumps along the way. Enjoy the ride Justice!